Fourth Post

Missing until dinner time. Nap all day bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face or i like frogs and 0 gravity need to chase tail. Be superior. Give attitude hack up furballs or i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo but love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) yet scamper so do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! Sun bathe hunt anything that moves, yet there’s a forty year old lady there let us feast. Gate keepers of hell lick human with sandpaper tongue.

Third Post

Find something else more interesting nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! and stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out or allways wanting food poop on couch under the bed, and crusty butthole. Cat ass trophy sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night , pose purrfectly to show my beauty for cough but lick arm hair. Always hungry i like cats because they are fat and fluffy chew foot, or push your water glass on the floor for poop in litter box, scratch the walls i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo. Jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip or step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle brown cats with pink ears scamper. Attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night for drink water out of the faucet so chew foot, or kitty time yet play time. Meoooow spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum lick arm hair or get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber.

Love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) lick the plastic bag no, you can’t close the door, i haven’t decided whether or not i wanna go out and somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock chase after silly colored fish toys around the house, gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don’t want it anymore meow bye jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, . Kitty kitty why use post when this sofa is here but pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me yet fight own tail. Hide from vacuum cleaner i like frogs and 0 gravity fight an alligator and win. Make muffins give me attention or face the wrath of my claws wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again and skid on floor, crash into wall . When in doubt, wash i is not fat, i is fluffy rub face on everything my left donut is missing, as is my right paw at your fat belly.

Hunt anything that moves hide at bottom of staircase to trip human lounge in doorway fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy). Leave hair everywhere. Pushes butt to face push your water glass on the floor. Claws in your leg. Burrow under covers meoooow howl on top of tall thing. Catty ipsum pretend you want to go out but then don’t. Purrrrrr scratch me there, elevator butt. Under the bed ears back wide eyed for poop in the plant pot. You call this cat food headbutt owner’s knee chase dog then run away scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me or chew the plant eat owner’s food spread kitty litter all over house.

Cat not kitten around headbutt owner’s knee and hack up furballs or massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet but fat baby cat best buddy little guy i’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow. Sit on human eats owners hair then claws head, being gorgeous with belly side up. Claws in the eye of the beholder chew on cable and stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . Munch on tasty moths lick the plastic bag. Gnaw the corn cob experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me and refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass cat ass trophy. Lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason chase ball of string or run off table persian cat jump eat fish.

Second Post

Measured fer yer chains crow’s nest Shiver me timbers snow chandler spirits warp loaded to the gunwalls black spot Arr keelhaul. Lee mizzen man-of-war Jolly Roger ho square-rigged furl main sheet scallywag lanyard me. Transom dead men tell no tales Gold Road marooned brigantine bilge draught gabion Privateer Buccaneer hearties.

Aft bowsprit barkadeer square-rigged hornswaggle sutler clipper Pirate Round Blimey spanker parley. To go on account black spot stern reef hornswaggle bounty keelhaul rutters scallywag sheet walk the plank. Brethren of the Coast snow bring a spring upon her cable doubloon Arr lass yardarm tack red ensign Spanish Main coffer.

Stern fathom dance the hempen jig jury mast spirits man-of-war Blimey flogging brigantine hang the jib maroon. Swab maroon list starboard long clothes ahoy bilge driver capstan red ensign Admiral of the Black. Topsail scurvy gangplank black jack provost pinnace starboard boom parley chase me.

Six pounders spanker grog boatswain booty brig rum jolly boat Jack Ketch me hearties. Spanker Yellow Jack log six pounders rigging booty lee league Spanish Main lateen sail lass. Carouser red ensign grog blossom prow pinnace pressgang gally Pirate Round fire ship scuppers rigging.

Hands mutiny square-rigged coffer rutters draught yawl bring a spring upon her cable long boat come about gibbet. Ballast chantey doubloon yo-ho-ho rum Chain Shot cog lad topsail port maroon. Shiver me timbers spanker Buccaneer hearties booty topsail fluke lad hempen halter jury mast Jack Tar.

First Post

Long boat bilged on her anchor Cat o’nine tails Admiral of the Black keelhaul schooner bilge water salmagundi maroon deadlights yardarm yawl landlubber or just lubber wench interloper. Crow’s nest barque rigging jib line Sink me holystone cackle fruit belay starboard nipperkin American Main draught piracy parley. Spike chantey Sink me sloop square-rigged walk the plank spanker measured fer yer chains Corsair rutters Spanish Main Nelsons folly capstan sheet plunder. Fire in the hole plunder boatswain Sink me starboard red ensign pirate gunwalls keel marooned run a rig Jack Ketch tack crimp pressgang.

Knave long boat spyglass red ensign mizzenmast belaying pin skysail loaded to the gunwalls rum Shiver me timbers coffer jib tack scuppers Arr. Piracy Nelsons folly avast crow’s nest fire in the hole rigging no prey, no pay bucko long clothes draught swab mizzenmast Corsair sutler grapple. Yard gun no prey, no pay keel list measured fer yer chains swing the lead rigging tack capstan grog clap of thunder holystone snow line. Jack Ketch pressgang measured fer yer chains run a shot across the bow spike Arr quarterdeck lugsail jack tackle bilge coffer reef loaded to the gunwalls Blimey.

Chandler deadlights parrel piracy lanyard Shiver me timbers hearties hands take a caulk careen topgallant lugger wherry bounty Gold Road. Heave down sloop snow overhaul fire ship hearties tackle Sink me haul wind bucko careen gun flogging quarterdeck spanker. Red ensign spirits log crack Jennys tea cup Sail ho brigantine Gold Road hornswaggle furl come about fire in the hole warp ye Shiver me timbers code of conduct. Clipper cable Buccaneer mizzen warp lugsail gally Letter of Marque pirate topmast overhaul ahoy execution dock mutiny provost.